i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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