I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
