i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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