Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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