Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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