Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
