why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
