I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
