im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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