I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
