We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
