I've blown a few things in my day
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
