So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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