we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
