I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
being pregnant is like rehab
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize