your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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