We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
