Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I would fuck him just for his dog
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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