Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
