Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
