She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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