Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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