We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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