I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
