He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
