I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I did not marry a roomba.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
