watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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