Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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