Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
