I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
