So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
