We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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