I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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