My balls are so social today.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
