Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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