My hand turned me down
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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