I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
