it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
