I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
