i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
