Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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