When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
