It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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