Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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