Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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