It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Less talking, more tequila
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
