I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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