eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
