My nipple is on Facebook.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
