she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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