JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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