She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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