What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
