I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
