READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
