did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize