Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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