I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
