Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
