Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize