Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
