It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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