haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
