i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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