I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
