I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
