my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
